tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30992975.post115315821865049702..comments2023-05-04T04:03:28.452-07:00Comments on Momily: Til death (or our respective legal teams) do us partMomilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12601711936352410389noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30992975.post-1153309713953146412006-07-19T04:48:00.000-07:002006-07-19T04:48:00.000-07:00Luke says:As much as I hate starting any discussio...Luke says:<BR/><BR/>As much as I hate starting any discussion with "As a lawyer...", I think that my professional experience may be shed some light on this topic. The only qualification that I add is that Family Law makes up less than half of my practice and I have only been a lawyer about 3 1/2 years. I have more experience with people getting divorced than most, but I am by no means a hard core family lawyer. <BR/><BR/>In my experience, one does not have to be married to have a messy break up. The divorce statitics Emily cites presumably do not include unmarried parents who grow to hate each other and do terrible things in the throes of a custody / access / maintenance battle with their ex. <BR/><BR/>Personally, I felt that the ritual of getting married and making vows to Carla before God, my family and my nearest friends to be an utterly profound action. Likewise I cannot imagine how a parent could raise a child without the support of the other parent. All this said, the suggestion that high divorce rates is a sign of self involved people who see divorce as an easy alternative to making the marriage work is a bit of an oversimplification. <BR/><BR/>Divorce is usually a horrendous process that people will only follow through with if the alternative is even worse. It is least painful when the spouses agree on the myriad issues that come up, but if they are able to agree in the first place they usually are not seeking a divorce. What assets do we own? Who gets what? Is this a matrimonial asset or a business asset? How do we make custody and access arrangements work around our work schedule? Often times, separation requires even more cooperation and flexibility than living together, especially when there are children involved. Most people basically understand this, which is why I think these days most people are MORE cautious about getting married than they were when our parents and grandparents were young adults. How many people these days get married so they can have sex? Or because the girl is knocked up and they "have to" get married? <BR/><BR/>As for reasons why marriages end... there are many reasons. Sometimes the middle age husband wants to screw someone who's younger, prettier or more glamourous. Sometimes they get married too young and realize that they just don't like their spouse. Sometimes the relationship is flat out abusive. Although I am definitely not the lawyer for the elites, I have yet to see two people marry or divorce for anything close to ludicrous reasons Hollywood types do it. Most people only give up on their marriage after years of unhappiness and multiple unsuccessful attempts to make it work. <BR/><BR/>If anything, I think the high divorce rates over the last few years and the catastrophic effects they have on families has hit home the point that marriage really is important, and if you're going to take the plunge you had better to it right. <BR/><BR/>The best approach to spiralling divorce rates is not more counselling and deeper guilt, but better marriages in the first place. <BR/><BR/>Despite all this it is still easier to get a marriage license than to adopt a dog from SPCA. How many people would support a law that required people to take a 5 hour long course on co-habitation before the government would issue a marriage license? Many churches (including the Catholic Church) require such a course before they will do the wedding, but they tend to get labelled as antiquated and oppressive for doing so.<BR/><BR/>Those are my thoughts on a Wednesday morning before going to work.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30992975.post-1153168034682258622006-07-17T13:27:00.000-07:002006-07-17T13:27:00.000-07:00So you're saying you don't want to be Daniel's god...So you're saying you don't want to be Daniel's godmother?Momilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12601711936352410389noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30992975.post-1153167267806706482006-07-17T13:14:00.000-07:002006-07-17T13:14:00.000-07:00This is such an interesting topic, one that my dad...This is such an interesting topic, one that my dad now prefaces with "what the hell is wrong with your generation". Good stuff here but I am still on the baptism thing. Right. I just want to clarify that exposing your child to the teachings of The Church and simply baptizing for insurance into the happiness eternal are two different things. I think it's great if you and dustin attend church and support and encourage daniel's learning about religion, spirituality, history, etc. Just know that one more baptism under the Catholic Church is one more vote against gay marriage, abortion, birth control, and condom use to prevent the spread of HIV. I'm not judging; just saying.<BR/><BR/>P.S. *Loving* the blog.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com