Sunday, July 20, 2008

Cry, baby, cry

The Pink Princess is past the colicky stage now – hurrah! She is actually turning into a fairly happy and “normal” baby now! However that doesn’t mean the crying is over! Apparently my darling daughter is a bit of a diva. She already seems prone to tantrums and certainly has plenty of opinions.

In no particular order here are some things my 3.5 month old has thrown massive fits over. As soon as the “problem” is solved she usually stops crying immediately and often flashes us a big grin which is equal parts annoying and charming.

I need socks on now!

Stupid woman, remove this sun hat from my head at once.

Horrors! The sun is in my eyes.

Can’t you see I’d much rather be sitting (standing, lying down)?

Idiots, I can’t see the TV from here!

Idiots, I can’t see my brother from here!

The intensity with which my brother does everything overwhelms me. Get me away from him. Not that far away, though.

Um, my stroller (the car) has stopped moving. For the love of God, why has the stroller (the car) stopped moving?

AAGH!!!! My mobile has stopped moving!

The buttons (snaps, zippers, embroidery) on my outfit is irritating the hell out of me.

I thought I told you that I HATE that brand of nipple.

I cannot possibly enjoy my bottle contents at this tepid temperature.

I cannot possibly enjoy my bath at this tepid temperature.

I’m bored. Produce something interesting for me to look at. At once.

Where is my flannel blanket? I simply must, must, must have my flannel blanket!

Why have you not covered my entire face with my flannel blanket in such a fashion that I can still breathe, but not see anything that might distract me from trying to sleep? Morons.

Please wrap/swaddle me in such a fashion that my arms are bound at my sides and rendered immobile so that I can't inadvertently hurt myself and/or knock my pacifier out of my mouth. Do NOT listen to me when I say that I hate my arms to be constrained Wait, FREE MY ARMS, FREE MY ARMS!! I need my arms to be free!!!! Imbeciles, I said don't listen to me to when I say that.

I’m so tired, but I don’t want to go to sleep. But I’m so tired. But I don’t want to miss out on stuff. But I’m tired.

I seem to have soiled myself.

I’m guessing this means that the teen years will be very enjoyable for us.


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