Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Abiding by these simple requests will make your stay much more enjoyable!

August seems to be bringing us lots of out of town visitors, which is great and a welcome distraction. Due to the constant chaos in the Fringer household, though, I thought I would provide my guests with some simple guidelines to help make their time with us more pleasant!

1. If you are allergic to dogs or for some other reason disgusted by the huge rolling tracts of fur currently being expelled from our part Chow hound, please suggest something along the lines of “It’s a beautiful day for sitting outside,” rather than staring in disbelief at the furry tumbleweeds moving about my home.

2. How about we pretend that the rug under the kitchen table is sisal and that those chunks and gritty bits you feel under your feet are “100% natural fibres” as opposed to, say, pieces of granola bar, hardened play-doh, two year old dried peanut butter and raisins.

3. Let’s call my 3 year old lively, spirited and energetic instead of the many other adjectives that could be better used to describe him!

4. Pretend that the wetness you just sat in or stepped on in our bathroom has everything to do with a recently taken shower and nothing to do with potty-training. Ignore all other disgusting evidence of potty-training in said bathroom.

5. Heartily enjoy my offerings of arrowroot cookies and apple juice, like it’s a totally normal thing for adults to be eating at two in the afternoon. In actuality, it's all I have in the house.

6. Enter abode at your own risk! I apologize in advance for anything my 3 year old does to your children. Ditto for anything my four month old does to your clothing.

7. Interesting and stimulating adult conversation will almost certainly be kept to a minimum due to i) Momily’s new-found ability to appear awake, but actually be in some kind of semi-sleep state ii) the antics of a lively, spirited and energetic three year old iii) the neediness of a puking/pooping/screaming four month old iv) a crazy, moulting canine.

In other news, as of July 31st I have been at this whole blog thing for two years! Although I frequently wonder how long I will keep at this, for the time being I will continue at this healthy venting outlet!


At 9:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Regarding Point 5 - I was unaware that the arrowroot cookies were for guests! I have been sneaking them for so long and feeling bad about it (obviously not bad enough to stop sneaking them). Maybe I need to buy you a nice presentation platter and you can Martha Stewart arrange them. Now that I know my forbidden treat is not so forbidden I may have to move on to something new. Watch out baby formula!


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