Thursday, July 20, 2006

Rub-a-dub-dub, three turds in the tub

Last night my sister came over for a visit. She and Dustin were tandem bathing Daniel – Dustin started off and then left to walk the dog while she took over. I was in the kitchen making supper.
When it was time to take Daniel out of the tub, I broke away from the kitchen to help her dry and dress him. He is a little maniac now and sometimes it takes two people to prevent him from launching himself off his change table when he’s decided that he’s done being inconvenienced.

We were drying him off and I noticed he had a few remnants of “poop bum.” Cynthia said that Dustin claimed to have washed him. We made a few catty remarks about the usefulness of men and cleaned Daniel up. She had the situation under control so I went to drain the tub and remove his toys and bath seat.

I’m elbow deep in bath water. I unplug the tub. I start removing toys. I lift up Daniel’s tub seat and there is small brown pancake of, you guessed it, crap smooshed into the seat bottom. [Apparently, Dustin was not at fault! There, I said it.]

Momily's vivid and lifelike recreation (MS Paint) of this episode can be seen below:

I remove the seat turdlet and do a quick wash of the seat. I remove the rest of the tub toys and put them in the sink, except for that one that I almost put there that turned out to be Turdlet Number Two rather than Tub Toy Number Two.

I notice the tub is draining very slowly – I can only assume due to Turdlet Three.

Toys washed off in bleach and dish soap; seat washed off in beach and dish soap. Tub scrubbed down in Comet; Drano down the drain. Some of you have mocked me in the past, but I’ve never been so happy to have a well-stocked larder of cleaning supplies. I was exceedingly pissed off during this crisis clean, as I had already washed the whole bathroom on Saturday due to Cleaning Lady Number 3 quitting - really not too enthused about having to scrub the tub twice in 4 days.

Those of you who think that I am exaggerating about the amount of parenting that involves shit (and shit related) crises simply don’t have children!

Image source: the picture is a mash-up of a tub seat photo from eBay and my own handiwork.


At 6:56 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Luke said:

My thougths on fecal matter since Quinn was born:

1. Yellow poo good, green poo bad.

2. It's all organic.

3. It's "kind of like yoghurt when they're very little", which is funny because it's not white, it smells, and I really can't see myself licking off a diaper like I would the lid of a tub of yoghurt.

3. Just wait till she starts eating adult food.

4. The term "ass explosion."

5. Walking around with shit stains on your shirt really isn't a big deal after all.

At 8:01 AM , Anonymous akk said...

Re: Cleaning lady #3 quitting. I hear Sally and Amin offer cleaning services for what can only be described as an exorbitant fee. BUT, apparently they get the job done! Maybe you can ask them for a quote, with and without turd-cleaning?

At 8:33 AM , Blogger Cynto said...

I would just like to state that, in my defence, I did not notice the poo because Daniel was in a bubble bath and therefore the poo was screened from view by the film of bubbles.

At 8:49 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's happening with the cleaning ladies - why are they leaving you? Bad employer?

At 9:49 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Salma Says:

We don't doo poo!


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