Baby Barracks, Part Two: Does anyone have any lithium?

11:00 am: I feel like I’ve been weeping for 18 hours (OK ‘cause I have). Dropping off D Jr. at daycare this morning was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Leaving the house felt like some sort of walk of doom -- not made easier by the fact that Petey bolted through the front door while this was happening (without his collar, of course) and almost got run over by a neighbour backing out of her driveway. Luckily D Sr was here (1st day of is a daycare family affair), so while I had D Jr, he was able to chase down the dog who thought it was all a hilarious game. Pet for sale – cheap!

When we dropped off D Jr I cried the whole time, which I said I wouldn’t do especially in front of “strangers” (i.e. the staff). Who am I kidding?! Most of you saw the great wedding debacle of ’04. . . Anyway, the daycare lady (from herein called Raisa) had to actually comfort me and tell me it would be fine, that Daniel would be fine, etc. I at least laughed then and I told her that as I also work with kids I know that 99% of the problems on the job are the parents!! Amazingly, I’ve become one of them!

My other major anxiety at the moment is that as I was trying on outfits out of my closet last night for the upcoming wedding that we are attending, I came to realize just how much weight I have really gained since D Jr. For some of the ladies out there you’ll understands how bad it is after reading this: my plan B “fat skirt” ensemble it too tight and the outfit that I had intended on wearing does not fit at all. Sigh! I know that some of this is not going to change – I am pretty sure my entire pelvis area is WIDER forever since childbirth – but most of this is my fault. I snack too much and don’t do enough "exercise." The harsh realization that came to me yesterday is that I need to start up my running regime again which I hate mostly because it will have to happen in the mornings or it just won’t happen at all. OK – I am fortunate because historically I am one of those people who quite easily loses weight if I exercise (hopefully, this is still true!). I just loathe exercise and hate early mornings and also have a hard time feeling motivated to shed pounds when I get to birth another Fringer Jr. sometime in the near future. However, I am more tired of being everyone’s funny fat friend (if my life were movie I’d play whatever role Jeanine Garofalo gets), and I’m pretty sure that after this upcoming weekend of hanging out with my girlfriends who all make Kate Moss look fat, I’ll have some motivation/inspiration.

So does anyone have any mood altering substances they can pass this way? I take great comfort in knowing that the father of the bride will at least make sure that my glass is always half full (of alcohol) this weekend.