Thursday, February 08, 2007

On the way to where the air is . . . old

We are leaving for Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan tomorrow.

Sigh!

Now, don’t get me wrong, Moose Jaw is not much different from any small town in Western Canada (except perhaps for having one of the most unique Canadian place names). However, that’s kind of the problem. I’m going to be trapped in a small, podunk prairie town for a long-weekend.

Why are we going there? Well, D. Sr.’s grandparents live there (in fact all D. Sr. related stock hail from there) and they are doing quite poorly health-wise. These are D. Jr.’s great-grandparents and we are doing the good, sensible thing of having him visit his elders and obtain some good photo opportunities for posterity while we’re at it. So, I suppose I should amend the above, I’m going to be trapped in a small, podunk prairie town with a bunch of 80+ seniors for a long-weekend.

So in an effort to work all this all out in my mind before we leave, here are the pros and cons of visiting MJ.




Marvelous Moose Jaw:

1)We are making some old folks very happy.

2)I will hopefully have a chance to gaze upon the world’s largest moose once again (um, see above). For those that don’t know, I’m obsessed with the large, bizarro roadside attractions that prairie towns have erected and continue to erect for unknown reasons. MJ’s largest moose is indeed formidable and has equally formidable genitalia that are uniquely spray painted each year by high school grads. We have previously enjoyed a bright neon pink nut sack.

3)There is a wonderful little character store in MJ, Yvette Moore’s.

4)There is apparently a wonderful shoe store as well.

5)MJ has underground tunnels that Al Capone (or at the very least his cronies) used to bootleg booze around North America during prohibition (MJ is a major train transit hub).

6)We are staying in the honeymoon suite of the Comfort Inn – I find this hi-larious! I envision a bottle of strawberry flavored Baby Duck in my near future. I’m guessing only D. Jr. will enjoy the jacuzzi tub.

Miserable Moose Jaw:

1)MJ has one of the last remaining Bonanzas. While the kitsch factor is awesome, having to eat
every meal here because the old people are obsessed with it and know the owner is not.

2)Adult diapers, dementia, Murder She Wrote and the “who’s dead” update.

3)The high for the entire time we’re there -20C; the low -30C; the wind chill will make it about -150C.

4)After calling every accommodation in MJ, I established that not a single one has a crib. I doubt D. Jr. will sleep in a playpen, so I am anticipating 2 days of sleep deprivation. Vive la suite honeymoon.

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